Hey there God! Wassup?
A couple of a thousand years ago, a guy by the name of St. Francis had sent up a plea to you saying, “God, grant me strength to accept those things I cannot change.” ( I came across this ridiculous thing during a mass at my college. As I shifted the gravitational pull of the earth from the left hemisphere of my body to the right and back, and strained my ears through the notes of the organ desperately trying to announce your heavenly presence in the tube lit room, I yawned as I heard the bespectacled, robe-clad oldie read out from a hard-bound, bulky book….. mmmm… now what the hell do they call it… I keep forgetting… it was there in some chapter, some verse… if you are too much interested, then go through it yourself, ok? )
Yeah, so what I was saying is, that looking around I think that you still haven’t paid the least bit of attention to that guy, you’ve still kept that poor man’s plea pending. Not that I give a dime. But wherever I and whenever I let my peepers rest, I end up seeing people cursing you for their wretched lives. God, I pity you and you have my heartfelt sympathies. What the hell do they think? That you have to rattle that cage over your shoulders just for them? You don’t have anything else to do or what? Of course, you do. You control the tsunamis, you check the waves, you need to see if the avalanches slide according to your set routine, you see that not even a single drop of rain falls on the ground where it shouldn’t be falling. And you also need to scrutinize the steady growth of grey matters in the highly blessed brains of your chosen ones endowed with the unique responsibility of adding to the number of nuclear weapons. All these things takes time yaaa….. They should understand! And moreover, you are getting old too, you should be taking good care of yourself rather then poring into the truckloads of pleas that kept emptying over Heaven’s doorsteps everyday. All that paperwork… it gets so damn tiring. (Good you took my advise and got an internet connection, it saves you all that paperwork now…)
Now being the good Samaritan that I am, I thought why not lighten your burden a bit? You know what? You really don’t need to give us that much of strength (you can’t part with much of it anyway, you keep having protein bars yourselves ). Well, just that little bit of it to get that urchin to shut up when his daily wager father returns home empty-handed in the evening because some factory somewhere has shut down as your modern day replica in our state has decided to shower their benevolence on the coal plants of the neighboring states, or just that much of strength to the lady to endure her pain of cancer as her retired father’s PF money given to her for treatment was whisked away by the cabby, or to the bride told by her groom on the wedding night that he wouldn’t touch her coz he loved another, to the gays and lesbians hiding inside closets all over the world for fear of verbal crucifixion, to the man who lost his girl coz he couldn’t name his father, to the lady who can’t get her child in a decent school as they say she’s a whore, to the mother who waits beside the phone as her son gets ripped by bullets from across the border, to the 12 year old maid who gets raped by the master while the mistress is away, and who keeps her mouth shut coz her 5 year old brother has just started school, to the eighty year old who casts a longing look back at home as he’s being evacuated from an earthquake prone area, to the marine biologist who sees a baby dolphin dying before his eyes, to the wife who waits at home while her husband’s out at sea.
Just that wee bit of strength so that all of them can turn a blind eye to whatever’s happening around them. Just a few years, and they know they’d be joining you. And if they are good and intelligent enough to keep their big mouths shut on this earth, they should know that you’ll keep them up there with you. They’ll wake up from their afternoon siesta with bikini-clad angels serving them iced-coffee and later they can enjoy a T20 match amidst live cheerleaders. After all, that’s the idea of a perfect heaven to the frustrated lot down here. And as for those who keep bothering you, you can always send them to rot in hell….
So, wasn’t that a very good idea. Trust me, it is. Its going to take a lot off your back…
So, good bye for now. Take care. BBye.
P.S. By the way, I had a request. Nothing much though… Well, its like this…
